Monday Laughs

This email made me laugh today.
For whatever reason, this made me think of you, Rachel ;-)


1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
2. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
3. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
4. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
5. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
6. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
7. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
8. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
9. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
10. Was learning cursive really necessary?
11. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
12. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
13. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
14. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
15. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
16. Bad decisions make good stories.
17. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
18. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
19. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.